Man vs Bear — Who would you choose?
The bear vs man debate is a hot topic on Instagram right now. This is thanks to a tik-toker that asked eight women this question; “Is a woman safer with a man or a bear in the woods?”. The interviewed women were quick to pick the bear as the answer. This trending video has infuriated many men. They believe that this is misandry. The question men should rather be asking themselves is “What made the women choose a bear over a man?”. Let’s take a look at my female and male friends’ perspectives on this global debate.
When I asked this hypothetical question to a male friend, he was quick to say that the woman should pick the man over the bear.
According to him, “out of five men, two could be bad — but the other three can be trusted.”.
The issue here is, which men? How do we distinguish and figure out the intentions of a strange man in the woods? In order for my friend to understand this, I had to tweak the question a bit.
I asked, “Joel, let’s say you have a seven year old daughter who gets lost in the woods. Would you want her to choose an unknown man over a bear?”. He paused for a moment and said, “I would have loved to choose the man, but knowing the realities of the men I have come across, I would much rather have a young child be with a bear.”.
This just shows that even men tend to question the intentions of other men. But what causes this mistrust? Well for starters, historically, sexual violence against women have been normalised, even romanticised solely for the pleasure of men. Male authors, who had more freedom to publish their works during the 18th and 19th century further imposed these fantasies on the general population.
For example, Miranda from William Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”, is solely utilised as an object of the male characters’ sexual desires. She is portrayed as a naive woman who falls for her father’s spells. She has no autonomy over her own life. And yet, her characteristics are romanticised by Shakespeare. She is promoted as the pinnacle of men’s desires. The character, Caliban, openly admits to his attempts of raping Miranda. And yet somehow, this was not considered problematic by many literary critics.
It is concerning to think that this novel is still prescribed in schools in India as a part of the curriculum. We are still stuck in the Victorian Era, glossing over language that demeans women. Even when women got access to read and write, female authors were prohibited and criticised for writing about female experiences.
And this continue to happen even today. “Barbie’’, a movie directed by a woman, produced by a woman, for other women was heavily criticised by both men and women. Sharing female experiences through media and literature is still frowned upon.
I digress. I proposed the same hypothetical question to my female friends. Out of the thirteen women and girls I conversed with, none picked the man. Some of my male friends thought that this was illogical. But, for the women, logic does not matter with the situation being hypothetical. Because, they connected the dots quicker and only thought about the endless possibilities of experiences that can occur while being with a bear and being with a man. This again is because they understand the average female experience living as prey to the male gaze. Their answers were similar.
Praneetha, my best friend said, “I would rather take the possibility of dying in the hands of a bear than the possibility of getting raped by a man.”.
Dafni, a friend said, “I am on the bear’s side. Killing me is the worst thing a bear can do. But a man can ruin a lot more.”.
Gopika, an ex — classmate said, “If I absolutely had to make a choice — the bear. I feel like I will die with dignity if killed by a bear than if I am killed by a man.”.
Shafrin, an online friend said, “A bear does not have morals. In the worst case scenario, I would get eaten but I would help that animal survive. The worst case scenario with a man is unimaginable.”.
Anoushka, a college senior said, “This is such a horrible question. I hate it so much. I hate how as women, we would not be comfortable being stuck with someone from the same species.”.
Rashi, an online friend said, “I would choose the bear. I do realise what a bear is capable of doing to me and my body. But what a man can and probably will do is so much more horrible. A bear will crush my skull, fold me like a piece of paper and eat me. That is the most it can do. But, there are multiple rape cases where the rapist has done worser things to their victims.”.
All these replies made me realise that, at the end of the day, women are just trying to survive. Choosing the bear over the man does not mean women hate men. But rather it shows how much women fear men. The centuries of oppression, abuse and power struggle women had to endure to get here only adds to their survival instincts.
Women were not systematically taken advantage of by bears, but rather by men. It takes almost fourteen generations to process trauma. The current women only being three or four generations into experiencing basic human rights such as the right to vote, right to education, reproductive rights — makes them ever so vigilant of their choices.
So men, rather than criticising women for their “illogical” choice, ask yourself why women fear you so much. Ask yourself what made the tiktoker to even draw a comparison between men and bears. Ask yourself, why would you rather prefer your daughter, girlfriend, sister or mother choose a wild animal over a strange man.
Let me know your thoughts on the man vs bear debate down below. Looking forward to read your comments!
